Richard and Lola started attending Memory Café when Lola was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. To begin with they both enjoyed participating in the activities together – chatting to others at the table over a hot drink, joining in the seated yoga session, having a go at the collaborative quiz and singing with gusto. It was one of various activities that they did during the week.
However, as Lola’s condition deteriorated, her behaviour became unpredictable and she could be ‘difficult’, so they went out less. Richard said the Café was the one place he knew they could both come, and Lola would be accepted, whatever mood she was in. He appreciated the way the volunteers would sit with Lola, help her eat her cake and chat with her so he could talk to the friends he had made at the Café.
“It was a relief to have a bit of time when I knew others would care for Lola and I didn’t have to be responsible by myself. Most of the time it was just the two of us and that could sometimes be a strain.” ~ Richard, member of Memory Café
Richard enjoyed doing the seated yoga as he felt it helped keep him mobile and he didn’t have time to exercise elsewhere. Even walks were becoming difficult. He always encouraged Lola to participate too, and for some time she would follow his movements as best as she was able. They did some of the simpler exercises at home together each day too.
Richard had sung in choirs and loved singing, so we ensured he led some of the songs at the end of each session. When Lola became withdrawn and incommunicative, a volunteer would sit very near and sing the songs to her. Richard was always delighted when Lola smiled and joined in with the ends of the lines. He said she would usually remain calm and seemingly happy for the rest of the day.
“Richard said the Café was the one place he knew they could both come, and Lola would be accepted, whatever mood she was in.” ~ Richard, member of Memory Café
They both attended the Café each week for a number of years and when Lola finally became ill and died, we kept in touch and many from Memory Café went to her memorial. Richard chose to continue to attend the Café after Lola’s death, as he said it became his community and a high point of his week.
Many community projects in Islington are struggling to keep their doors open. Your donations fund safe, welcoming spaces like Memory Café which support people in our community who need it most. Your kindness makes a real difference.
